Happy Monday, everyone! Happy Spring. I walked down my local high street this morning, back in Wales for the first time since January, and it’s so beautiful to see the world come alive again (though I was served a reminder of one’s mortality when a seat flew out of the bus this morning. It’s a long story but believe me, I have a whole new perspective on life).
My town is pale, male, and stale, if you’ll pardon a rather crude turn of phrase. But this small slice of Welsh rural bliss was once home to some of the greatest rockstars that ever lived. I walk in the footsteps of legends including Robert Plant, Ozzy Osbourne, the Oasis boys and even Freddie Mercury, who visited my town when recording Bohemian Rhapsody in 1975. I’m basically the fifth member of Led Zeppelin.
I was mulling this over this morning as I wandered down to the office, intending to finally glance at the rather gigantic final essay I have coming up. I thought about how, while our town has remained largely unchanged over the years, the fashion wheel keeps on turning (if you get that musical reference, we’re now best pals). Many iconic styles have passed on like water under the Monnow bridge, but others return over and over. Some I adore- 80s mullets, 70s everything- and others I wish remained confined to the annuls of history.
Love: 70s skirts
June 21st outfits, anyone? Image via Pinimg
For a long time, I hadn’t quite cracked the code of the long skirt. If the print is off even slightly, it’s easy to stray into Women’s Institute territory. They need to have shape without being form-fitting, and ideally a flash of leg to remind the viewer that you are in fact a young person with *shocked Pikachu face* a body underneath. I like to think of Coco Chanel’s attitude to clothes: that they should be suggestive without leaning too heavily upon exposure.
There’s just something about pulling on a long, floaty skirt on a hot summer’s day. Paired with sandals or some platform Converse, it’s an outfit that will see you from riverside picnics to late-night drives with aplomb. This season, I’m feeling drawn towards ditsy florals, light colours and patterns that leave the eye unassaulted, in naturally cooling fabrics like cotton. Brands to look for secondhand include Nobody’s Child, a fantastic ethical company in their own right, Marks and Spencer, and Motel Rocks.
Beer garden looks, perhaps? Image via Blue17
Loathe: the tiny 90s bag
SJP, sad because she could only fit one Creme Egg in the bag. Image via The Zoe Report
This is in some circles rather controversial, but look- I’m a practical gal. I see your teeny weeny bag and raise you an armful of rubbish that lives in mine. Where do you keep your wallet? Keys? Phone? Book? Emergency chocolate? Robert Pattinson cardboard cutout? My bag is a treasure trove of everything I could ever need, and plenty I don’t. I see these micro-bags everywhere on the high street and wonder what will happen when invariably the trend moves on and everyone is stuck with a bag that fits one single TicTac. They’re often made of polymer plastics like polyurethane, which has ‘high resistance to environmental degradation’ (Krasowska et al, 2014), so if you want this to be an heirloom piece it’ll probably still be around in like, five hundred years.
Love: Mullets. And double denim. And people wearing both.
There’s just something about a man in a Texan tuxedo I can’t resist. Add a lovely 80s mullet to that and I’m your girl. Thoroughly encouraging this one to make a comeback, and not just for guys; there’s a movement of mullets in Edinburgh, delightfully documented over at @MulletsofEdi, where you’ll see the short at the front, party in the back hairstyle being rocked across the capital. I know this isn’t technically a piece of clothing, but I can guarantee that it will elevate any outfit.
Loathe: Juicy tracksuits
Vogue says Juicy tracksuits are back, which is the confirmation I needed that I know fashion better than Anna Wintour. Image via: Vogue
Paris Hilton’s famous loungewear has finally reappeared, this time lauded by the likes of Drag Race alum Naomi Smalls. Look, I’m all for people being comfy. These look like diamante-studded pyjamas, and I kind of rate that. But I just can’t get behind them as an actual outfit. I remember the Noughties, okay? The sight of velour hems soaking up mud and pollutants off the Great British pavement is enough to turn anyone’s stomach. Pass.
Love: Ugly shoes
Olivia Neill: Belfast legend, Croc extraordinaire. Image via YouTube
There’s a local country show that takes place annually, pre-Covid times of course, and it’s attended by pretty much everyone in my tiny town. A dry August field provided the scene for Crocaggedon 2007: the Great Croc Awakening. I remember it like it was yesterday. A plague of ugly, chunky, brightly coloured shoes spread across the grass like wildfire. Vendors couldn’t sell them fast enough. Queues stretched across three counties (almost). At the tender age of nine, I played a game of Count the Croc, and from my waist-high vantage point reached over a hundred before I gave up. These shoes took over the world- and now they’re back. Encrusted with jewels and available in a range of shades, these utterly hideous sandals provoke delight and disgust in equal measure. I enjoy the platform variety for some leg-lengthening action, and they look great chucked on under the aforementioned midi-skirt. They’re the perfect shoe for wandering up the garden and feeding the chickens, but can also be jazzy enough for hot summer barbecues with the girls. I’ll defend them until my last breath.
Right, time to glance at that extremely important essay I have no intention of working on!
Wishing you a wonderful week,
Ellie
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